Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
