I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
