the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
