Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
