doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
