yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
