Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
