You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
