are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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