help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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