He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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