Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
