i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
