is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
