bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
