So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
