fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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