I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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