why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
