My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
