There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
