In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
