My nipple is on Facebook.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
