i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize