Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize