well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
