I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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