I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
