Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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