Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he thought i was a dude.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
