I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize