SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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