smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
