i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This baby is an asshole
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
