I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
