My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
