I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
