I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
