I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I stole a fireplace last night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
