Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
