I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize