Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
