Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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