Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
