They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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