Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
