Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
