why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
