You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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