I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
