Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
