If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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