Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
