I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
