you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
